And three months later....

IT IS OFF and yes I do realize you have no idea what I am talking about...but it is my cast and I could not be happier. Mainly because I have had to wait three months for a job and been through dare I say about six interviews it sucks. But what is worse is that I have a god awful tan line....but I am about to get a job so I'm happy

Drops of blood

Blood drips like water

Drip, Drip, Drip

I broke her heart

I will pay the price

Drip, Drip, Drip

Drop by Drop

Her heart won’t stop

She bleeds because she loved me

I lied to her

She will never trust me again

I was changed by that day

I learned who I can and cannot trust

But forgive and forget that’s my motto

Still yet I can’t forgive myself for it

I never will, I never want to

Drip, Drip, Drip

How do I stop it

How do I say I’m sorry

I’ve tried so many times

Drip, Drip, Drip

I feel surrounded by pain

The pain of seeing you

The pain of knowing I hurt you

Drip, Drip, Drip

I still can’t forgive her

She ruined us, she is also human

Drip, Drip, Drip

I like her as a friend but I will never love a woman

We are two different people and we always will be

I’m sorry the words I don’t want to say

Drip, Drip, Drip

Her blood is about gone

Drip, Drip, Drip

Time is almost up

Soon she will just give up

Drip, Drip, Drip

Drip, Drip, Drip

She says she can’t take it

Drip, Drip, Drip

Time is up

She gave up

Drip

I’ll miss you

Friends...boys....etc.

So here I am with my friend and she starts talking about her girlfriend and how wonderful she is and it really upsets me because the only boyfriend I can get are really old guys or "straight" guys who only like the sex and the worse one is the completely loony freshman that makes me want to scream at how stupid he is. He goes from OMG I love you and I want to have sex to I am not ready for a bf, and I do not like you and we should just be friends and I am straight, I absolutely want to scream or cry I mean fuck, all of my friends have one except my BFF danielle.

Diversity

Diversity means that there are many different people fromdifferent backgrounds who are not all the same race, gender, sexuality,nationality…etc. It also means that we accept everyone and no one isdiscriminated against. It means to me that frankly as long as you treat meright you will get the same treatment. A time in my life where I was treatedunfairly is when I was in sixth and seventh grade, I had just discovered that Iwas gay and had started telling my friends. All the popular guys decided thatthey would keep asking me even after I told them why I was gay, I mean I toldthe straight up that I do not like girls there was nothing confusing about myanswer. It kept getting worse until I started screaming at the kids, I wouldalways come home and be really moody and I would always take the anger out onmy parents which now I feel really guilty about even though I still do it. Nomatter what I did it never got better, I tried talking to the principal filingmany incident reports on them and nothing was ever done about it. Even when myparents got involved it didn’t help anything, it got so bad that I startedcutting myself. At one point I had developed a crush on this boy who was in myband class, I had told a few of my friends and they all told me that I shouldtell him, that there was a possibility that he might like me back. I could notgo through with it myself so one of my friends did it for me and my life turnedto hell. Once he knew everyone knew, I felt like public enemy number one. Thebullying increased greatly and by the end of sixth grade I felt like dirt.Seventh grade was a little better until things got going and everyone decidedthat it would be a wonderful idea to pick on me again. Things got even worse thanthe year before then one of my best friends moved to Florida and made thingseven worse. I felt like everyone was against me and no one liked me, then myother best friend moved to a different school district. Then I was reallyalone, it got so bad that I would text my mom on a daily basis to come and getme. There is a statistic that LGBT youth miss at least one day of school amonth over the course of the year and a half I was at Murray middle school Imissed at the least 2 months of school. After a little more than half ofseventh grade I finally convinced my mom to homeschool me. So it was official Iwas homeschooled for the last half of seventh grade. I was re-enrolled inpublic school for my eighth grade year at Myrtle Grove middle school, I was stillpicked on at this school but not nearly as much and I had many more friends atschool that year. In some ways I am glad that I went through what I did insixth and seventh grade but in others I look back at that time in my life and Iwonder what might happen if. What might have happened if I did not have thefriends I did, would I have become another statistic? Or what might havehappened if I had not been bullied at all, would I have become the person I amtoday or would I have become the person that I strive every day to stay awayfrom becoming?

College..WTF

So I know it is still a little early to be thinking about college and scholarship's. Maybe not, but I was and decided that I am not smart enough for a scholarship. My closest friends said I am but I don't believe then. I think it I don't have confidence in myself. I still have a little bit of time left to get my shit together.... Well that is my rant for tonight bye ya'll

Reflection on the past two years

Throughout the past two years not only have I successfully completed my high school courses, I have also grown as a person. For example, at the beginning of my freshman year I was not willing to do my homework like I am today. This is going to help me all the way through college and into the real world because it has made me realize how procrastination is the worst thing to possible do when you have this amount of work. Also these two years have helped me in that I have gained a lot of self-esteem in my education and I am realizing that I can do more than I think I can. This year I have a closer relationship with the teachers at Isaac Bear than I have at any other school, this is going to help me in the next two years because I know that if I need help I am able to come back here. Isaac Bear has been a very good experience for me and I feel that I am a better person because I came here. In my academics my writing has improved tremendously and I feel that if Mrs. Micallef was not as hard on me as she was I would not have gotten the writing skills that I need in order to be successful in my college and adult life. My hope for the next few years is that I do not forget my friends, teachers and most of all what I learned. I look back at all my friends and teachers I have met and my hope is I left a lasting impression on them and I hope that all the personal experiences and academic learning I have had in the past two years will carry on for the rest of my life. Though we may joke that Isaac Bear is just a cardboard box, it is not what the school is made of that makes it a good school, but it is the people I meet and the teachers that I have learned from that made the difference.

College and my last year at IBECHS

So it has been a really long time since I last wrote and a lot of things have changed such as the other day I got so desperate that I made a fake Facebook account with a fake name and picture, The I sent a friend request to myself and put myself in a relationship with my "boyfriend" then I started feeling really guilty and ashamed so I took it down I only told my four best friends....I would have told Danielle but I never see her and she is never on Facebook and she never texts me and she is hardly ever at the bus stop in the mornings anymore....I really wish I could have talked to her about it...On a somewhat brighter note this is my last year at IBECHS next year I will be in college..it feels so surreal to think how just a short 1 1/2 ago I was a little freshman who did not know what to do with himself and now I am a sophomore picking college classes...I was talking to my mom and I have been dead set that I will be a lawyer but now I am questioning it because I had wanted to be a doctor but I figured I did not have the stomach for it. Now I kinda want to be a Surgeon but the whole lawyer thing is still my dream I just wonder if it is going to be really boring but I am in teen court so I knew what it is like I am just so confused on what I want to do. But what I do know is that I am going to be a lawyer even if I want to be a surgeon that is just a phase because I have wanted to be a lawyer for three years now...I am kinda sad that this is my last year here but I am also excited that I will be 16 and in college because that usually does not happen...I am going to miss a lot of my friends so hopefully we can get together and hang next year and I hope we get at least one class together...I will miss SOME no very few freshman but the ones that I do like I will miss.... and the ones I hate are the ones that don't do anything and to them I wish them luck on their future endeavors. Thanks for listening.... Brandon